Labor Pains
by Shun'u
Summary: Three men waiting for the birth of a child. What can possibly go wrong?
1. Part I

Title:Labor Pains

Author:Shun'u

Series:Inuyasha

Genre:Humor

Rating:PG – for language and undignified inebriation.

Spoilers:None

Warning:*psst* Beware of rampant OOCness. Otherwise, enjoy!

Disclaimer:Inuyasha and all its characters are the creation and property of, not to mention © to Rumiko Takahashi and all subsequent parties. I humbly borrow them for my bizarre fanfiction at no offense to their creator. Labor Pains is a product of my own demented mind and therefore © to Shun'u Hanashiro 2001.

****

August 8, 2001

L A B O R • P A I N S

An Inuyasha Fanfiction

By Shun'u Hanashiro

****

Part I

There are few sights less awe inspiring than that of three grown men drinking themselves into a drunken stupor.

Hmm…

Well…

Except for when it's three grown, powerful, under-normal-circumstances sober and perfectly capable men who are falling into such a pitifully sad state.

It had started the afternoon before, when one man's wife had begun to feel twinges of sharp pain in her belly. In the natural order of things, her water broke soon thereafter, followed by steadily increasing labor contractions that were shorter in distance apart and longer in duration. Yes, it is very natural for a woman to have contractions after carrying a fetus for nine months. What did you think? That the babe would stay in its mother's womb for eternity?

Now, you would expect that any man would be nervous upon the wondrous occasion of his child's entrance into the world, but… nothing quite to the degree of what was happening at the Higurashi Shrine. It didn't help matters that the lucky child's soon-to-be uncle and godfather decided to join him. There is a saying that fools rush in where angels fear to tread. In the wise words of a certain world famous basketball-player and Hanes-man, "let's just leave it at that."

"Throw me that bottle."

"No." He wasn't nearly drunk enough if he could recognize his brother's icy voice. What had Kagome been thinking to let Sesshoumaru know about the well?

"I'm not taking it away from you, idiot, I'm joining you. Do you think I want to be sober for this either?"

"Oh." Inuyasha blinked his violet eyes in slow dawning comprehension.

He thanked the heavens that, in the end, he had used the Shikon Jewel to be human rather than demon. It was much easier to get drunk as a human. The alcohol was slowly but surely giving him a nice buzzing sensation in his ears after consuming three large bottles in rapid succession. He reached into the case that his grandfather-in-law had thoughtfully donated to the cause after giving him a slap on the shoulder and a resounding "good luck". All of this had happened before he abandoned Inuyasha under the poorly constructed pretense of having to performing an exorcism out of town.

Inuyasha snorted in remembrance of the priest's actions. Exorcism? Who was the old geezer fooling? He just didn't want to be around when the screaming started. Oh, and did Kagome have a pair of lungs. Inuyasha slumped further into his corner of the living room and sniffled at the injustice of having his wife scream at him for asking if she was all right. Inuyasha drank more enthusiastically.

Sesshoumaru saw the abject misery in Inuyasha's face and decided that his brother was in no way coherent enough to hand him a bottle. So he reached over Inuyasha to pick up two of the unopened frosted glass bottles. One he kept, while the other he tossed to the monk who was just coming in the door. Sesshoumaru sat across from Inuyasha, on the floor, with legs crossed and shoulders propped against the couch.

"Catch."

"A little late to be warning me, but thanks," Miroku said dryly.

He joined the brothers in their little party, opened the bottle with a smooth practiced twist, and immediately imbibed. Inuyasha watched Miroku with newfound admiration and respect. The monk didn't even blink – or breathe for that matter – as he downed the whole 20 ounces of cold sake in one gulp. It was even more amazing that he was able to walk and drink simultaneously.

"What do you have to worry about anyhow?" Sesshoumaru asked. He was much more dignified than the other two as he drank, but no less swift as was indicated by the fact that he already had two empty bottles by his side. "It isn't like the baby's going to be a constant presence in your life."

"Fuck you, Sesshoumaru," Miroku said amiably. He plopped onto the sofa to spread out and get comfortable. One lazy hand reached into the case that sat in the middle of all of them. "I'll have you know that I'm going to take my role as godfather very seriously. Every step that little boy makes, I'm gonna be there to see and guide him through."

Sesshoumaru stared at Miroku. He thought about the kind of things that Miroku would be guiding his innocent nephew into doing. He thought about the possibility of gaining another priest into his family. His voice grew incrementally in volume when at last he spoke.

"I would pity my nephew if I didn't already know that you are doing NO SUCH THING."

Inuyasha – who had been following this exchange in an absentminded fashion – shook his head in total agreement. He vaguely thought that the gesture for agreement should have been a nod, but his head couldn't seem to move that way at the moment.

"Uh, uh." He pointed a finger at one of Miroku's images that floated in front of him and hoped that it was the real Miroku. "You aren't going to corrupt my- wait a sec. Since when did you two know that it was going to be a boy?"

Amber and coffee-brown eyes turned to him. Sesshoumaru snorted and looked away first to resume his drinking. He had a lot more work to do than the other two in order to get effectively soused – there were very few drawbacks to being a full-blooded demon, but this was turning out to be one of them.

Miroku said calmly, "Since you were too busy fighting with Shippou three months ago to hear Kagome tell her mother that it would be a boy. She said that the doctor did some test on her and the baby to find out."

"Argh!" Inuyasha tore at his long black hair. "What the fuck!? Is nothing sacred with these modern day people?"

"What are you so mad about, Inuyasha? I'd be ecstatic to know ahead of time. At least this way you know that you won't have to deal with boys fifteen years from now going after your daughter's virtue."

Hmm…

All of them paused in their drinking to contemplate that bit of wisdom.

They all came to the conclusion that it was a good thing none of the women were around to hear what they were discussing. It was a fairly sound bet to say that they would have been clobbered into near unconsciousness for thinking like men. Considering that they _were_ men, the injustice of it all was not lost on any of them.

"It makes an odd kind of sense that _you_ would be an expert in that department, Miroku."

The monk glared at Sesshoumaru. "I'll have you know that I was under duress because of my curse."

Both Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha muttered a little "humph" of disbelief. Then they stared at each other. Then they turned their backs on each other. Miroku sweat-dropped when Inuyasha directed the full force of his gleaming violet gaze on him.

"If it weren't for the fact that Kagome made me promise not to hurt you," Inuyasha growled at his long time friend, "you wouldn't be here today."

"Big words, Inuyasha. Do you think you can follow up with them any better than you could remove the prayer beads that _still_ hang about your neck?"

"Yeah," Inuyasha drawled. "I'd say a lot better than you could ever get Tetsusaiga from me."

Miroku's pleasantly drowsing mind came to full alertness and his eyes snapped wide open at the provocative words. His unfortunately sober brain took a quick tally. Littered across the living room floor were the remains of the case of sake. Miroku counted. He had been distracted by the conversation and had downed a measly three…

Inuyasha… maybe six…

The case was empty…

Which meant that the other fifteen…

Miroku groaned when Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha lunged to their wobbly feet and got into imbalanced versions of their usual battle stances.

"Uh, guys," Miroku tried to get their attention over wolfish snarls. And how the hell was Inuyasha still able to do that with his voice as a human? It was a damned cool trick. "Maybe you should rethink this."

Neither brother acted as though they heard him. In fact, Inuyasha took a step in Sesshoumaru's direction and swung his claw-less fist in a wide arc. Of course, being more than halfway inebriated, he missed his goal by many inches and wound up stumbling right by Sesshoumaru with the momentum of his punch and crashing none-too-gently into the entertainment center.

"Inuyasha watch what you're doing, Kagome's upstairs and she needs you to be in one piece. Not itty-bitty ones…" Miroku rubbed at his temples when he began to talk in the child language that Rin sometimes reverted to when she was trying to wheedle her way out of trouble. Then he noticed Sesshoumaru beginning to drip poison from his claws onto the polished wood flooring. "Damn it! If the two of you don't sober up NOW I'm going to get Mrs. Higurashi."

Oh, but how quickly did they see the error of their ways.

No one ever talked back to Kagome's mother. Not that she was a mean-spirited or intimidating woman. Oh no, quite the opposite. It was more of the fact that she was just _so_ sweet and kind; traits that she shared in abundance with her children if one were to exempt the last day of Kagome's understandable behavior. Unless, of course, one was to harm one of said children or, heaven forbid, wreck her immaculately tended home.

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru had already learned that lesson the hard way in the early days when they had still been fighting over insignificant things like swords and legacies. Under Mrs. Higurashi's gentle persuasion, and Kagome's not-so-gentle reminders that she still had her priestess powers, the inherently violent brothers learned to settle their 'disputes', as they were now called, elsewhere.

Miroku grumbled and fell back into his cushioned seat. He was exhausted. Hours of tense anticipation, little food because none of them could stomach much more than a few bites while hearing Kagome's agonizing screams, and now the heaviness of alcohol settling into his system made for a very long twelve hours. He just wanted the night to be over. Was that too much to ask?

"Whose brilliant idea was it to have Kagome give birth here instead of in a hospital?" Sesshoumaru asked of one in particular. He was a little ashamed of having used a mind-altering substance to escape reality. It was a weak thing to do. So now he wanted to share his misery a little. You know, like spreading joy. Making the world go round, et cetera, et cetera.

Inuyasha returned to his spot and laid out in his usual manner: on his side with head propped on one hand and same-side leg stretched out while the other was bent to form a triangle between the two. He aimed for a nonchalant attitude. The poor thing didn't know that his face was just too expressive to hide anything from the other two males in the room.

Miroku stared at him. "Wasn't it _you_ who suggested that, Inuyasha?"

"Figures," Sesshoumaru said. It was too bad about the alcohol going to waste. His body had already metabolized the stuff. "Only you would think of something so nonsensical."

"Non- what the hell kind of word is that?" Inuyasha demanded.

"A word that I am sure is beyond your meager abilities to understand, Inuyasha."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Miroku was beyond mad. His face was red from the effort of not screaming down the rafters and scaring the women above stairs who were helping Kagome through her difficult time. And here were two stubborn idiots driving him insane with their abnormally strong sibling-rivalry.

"I don't want to hear another word out of either of you that sounds even remotely like an insult or challenge, or so help me god I'm going to use the Air Rip on the both of you."

Sesshoumaru turned his nose up, but other than that he seemed agreeable. Inuyasha grumbled something under his breath.

"What was that dog-boy?"

"Nothing."

"Good, then we understand each other."

They sat in blessed silence.

You must know that this wouldn't last for long, right? No, of course not. That would be too much to ask of our lovable dog-demon and equally lovable former half-dog-demon-half-human. However, to give them credit, it wasn't either of them who started up the next chain of conversation.

Nope. It was darling little Rin. You remember her, right? She was – and still is – the innocent, kind-hearted human girl with a jaw cracking grin and gap toothed smile who was able to make even the cold-hearted Sesshoumaru relent in his code of killing all weaklings upon sight. Well, to put all the blame on Rin would be a little harsh. The truth of the matter is that Rin had two accomplices by the names of Souta and Shippou.

[End part 1]

Author's notes:

Insert evil laughter I know that they're all out of character to various degrees. This came from a moment of silliness.


	2. Part II

Title:

Labor Pains

Author:

Shun'u

Series:

Inuyasha

Genre:

Humor

Rating:

PG - for language and undignified inebriation.

Spoilers:

None

Warning:

*psst* Beware of rampant OOCness. Otherwise, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all its characters are the creation and property of, not to mention (c) to Rumiko Takahashi and all subsequent parties. I humbly borrow them for my bizarre fanfiction at no offense to their creator. Labor Pains is a product of my own demented mind and therefore (c) to Shun'u Hanashiro 2001.

November, 2001 

**L A B O R • P A I N S**

An Inuyasha Fanfiction 

By Shun'u Hanashiro

Where were we?

Oh, yes. Rin and company had just entered the scene.

Well, let's backtrack a little, shall we?

Miroku was still on the couch. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha still pouting - ahem - seated on the floor and ignoring each other's presence, when the three aforementioned children came running in through the back kitchen door. Their clear, youthful voices carried easily to the three recovering men - who simultaneously collected all of the bottles and hastily returned them to the case, which they shoved beneath the low coffee table. Taking into account the amount of alcohol that had been consumed, they were amazingly quick and efficient. One might even say experienced in the art of hiding empty bottles.

Part II 

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin called out cheerfully.

The sweet chime of Rin's voice was a balm to the cold demon lord's heart. Sesshoumaru knew that she was aware of his weakness to her innocent charm and had a tendency to "lay it on thick," as Inuyasha once kindly pointed out - Sesshoumaru had clobbered him for that one - yet it remained that nothing could stop him from caring for the little girl he fostered.

Still...

There were days when he had to count silently in hopes of not losing his temper with her. Perhaps it was the bounce that was always in her step. Or maybe it was her overly toothy grin. Hell, it could well have been that flopping thing she did with her hands when she waved them in greeting. Whatever the trigger was, sometimes, just sometimes mind you, he had an unholy urge to shake the cuteness out of Rin. That urge could usually be overcome with a minimum of effort on his part, but Kagome had caught him mid-temper on a handful of occasions. He had had to make a quick escape those times; he had not wanted to test whether or not Kagome could "sit" him without the aid of prayer beads.

Just for the record, it is _not_ possible to avoid a pregnant woman on a mission. Which was exactly what Kagome had been the last Sesshoumaru slipped and allowed his anger to show. It had been his mistake, of course. He had underestimated the speed with which a petite woman bowled over by twenty pounds more weight than she normally carried could move. Had anyone bothered to ask afterwards, Sesshoumaru would have sworn up and down that pregnant women were possessed of demonic speed.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Sesshoumaru winced a little at the high pitch of Rin's yell. She still hadn't learned to moderate her tone and he didn't have the heart to tell her that she was killing his sensitive ears.

"Rin, no running inside."

Inuyasha noticed that his brother hadn't raised his voice and that he was rather tolerant of Rin's antics for a supposedly coldhearted demon. For the first time, Inuyasha thanked the gods that his firstborn was a boy. It was a little degrading that a little girl could reduce grown men to mush by her... there was simply no other word for it... cuteness. Even Sesshoumaru was not left untouched.

"Yes, Sir!" Sesshoumaru nobly - at least in his rather biased opinion - resisted the urge to roll his eyes when she gave him a smart salute.

Last week Rin had gone with Souta and Grandpa Higurashi to see Tokyo Tower. The little girl had been delighted with the trip into Tokyo, never having seen such tall skyscrapers before or such a peculiar metal structure as the tower. The only drawback to the trip was that Rin had returned with a whole new outlook on life. One that included new vocabulary and gestures that she was quick to experiment with. Sesshoumaru had taken one look at the blue beret atop her wavy dark hair and washed his hands of the whole thing. Leaving Rin to work the novelty out of her system.

The novelty still hadn't worn out.

Rin had taken to saluting him as she had seen the foreign military men do to their superiors in the streets. Sesshoumaru didn't care for the habit, but there was little he could do without scaring the girl into thinking him a monster. It didn't help that the others thought her actions were adorable and encouraged Rin by their smiles and laughter.

"Inuyasha," Shippou landed on Inuyasha's head and dug his fingers into long black hair for purchase. "Tell Souta to stop telling Rin things." He stressed "things" as if by doing so Inuyasha would perfectly understand his meaning.

"What're you talking about, Shippou?" Inuyasha craned his neck around to look at the kit perched on his head. "And I told you to stop sitting on my head. You're getting too heavy for that."

Shippou hopped down to sit on Inuyasha's shoulder instead. "Souta's saying-"

"I'm only telling her the truth, Inuyasha-niichan. Good morning, Miroku-san," Souta said. He plopped next to Sesshoumaru and turned big brown eyes on the tall youkai. "Good morning, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Inuyasha grimaced. Ever since meeting Sesshoumaru, Souta had found a new hero to worship. He still thought Inuyasha and Miroku were cool, but that sparkly coolness had somehow fizzled when Inuyasha became a married man and Miroku became engaged to the demon exterminator, Sango. Souta acted as though the ground Sesshoumaru walked on was sacrosanct. Everything that Sesshoumaru did was wonderful. Nothing he said could be wrong. Souta had even begun wearing pristine white whenever he was out of his school uniform. It gave Inuyasha the creeps to see the kid idolizing his brother, but since Kagome thought it was just a phase that would pass who was he to argue?

"What are you telling Rin, Souta?" Miroku was curious as to what Shippou would argue with Souta about. Normally the two boys were the best of friends and nearly inseparable.

"The birds and the bees," Shippou answered for the human boy. He followed his words with a waggle of his eyebrows and a few quick blinks that the men could only assume to be his poor attempt at winking. Inuyasha wasn't able to see Shippou's actions, being as the kit sat on his shoulder, but he was able to hear Shippou's words just fine, and this caused him to sit up so quick that the kitsune was tossed into the air.

"Oi! Watch what you're doing, dog-breath," Shippou complained, having landed by Miroku's side in an ignominious heap.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin sat on Sesshoumaru's other side. "Is it really true?"

Inuyasha and Miroku both developed slightly evil grins when Sesshoumaru's naturally pale skin blanched further to a bone white. Shippou's description was sufficient for all of them to know what the three children had been discussing and, while neither human relished the thought of explaining sex, reproduction and childbirth to them, having Sesshoumaru put on the spot like that was too perfect of an opportunity to pass up.

"Is what true, Rin?"

While Rin processed his question, Sesshoumaru tried to think of another way to distract the inquisitive girl and avoid giving direct answers. One glance at Inuyasha and Miroku told him that no help would be coming from that sector. The fools were smiling, he noticed.

"What Souta said about babies," Rin said.

"Babies?" For some reason Sesshoumaru blanked; his normally agile mind emptied of anything remotely resembling rational thought.

Miroku decided to help Sesshoumaru out a little.

"Rin's asking about where babies come from, Sesshoumaru." Miroku didn't realize that it was unwise to speak up and make his presence known.

Rin immediately latched onto his obvious comprehension and asked, "Miroku-sama, do you know? Can you tell me if it's true?"

"Uh..."

Miroku went through a dozen different skin tones before settling on a sickening greenish salmon hue. He tugged at the suddenly tight collar of his shirt, more than a little perturbed that a young child would be asking him such a question. True, he had played at being a worldly man, but most of that had been an act; desperate times calling for desperate measures and all that. Somewhere along the way someone should have reminded him of the old adage: what goes around comes around.

Well, it had just come rebounding back to the priest with a vengeance. In other words, the shit has hit the fan, folks, and now it's being splattered all over the walls.

Of course _someone_ had to enjoy the moment.

Sesshoumaru sent the houshi a malicious smirk. "Yes, Miroku, you seem to be most knowledgeable with this subject. Do enlighten us."

"Son of a-"

"Miroku!" Inuyasha and Shippou simultaneously yelled.

"Sorry, sorry." Miroku rubbed his temples. "What were we talking about?"

Rin wasn't so easily distracted. "Babies."

"Oh, right... What is it that you want to know?"

"Can only women have them?"

"Is that all?" Relief washed through Miroku. Here he had been fretting that Rin wanted details. "Yes, only women can have babies," he said.

"Only _females_ can have babies," Inuyasha clarified.

Rin accepted that answer readily enough. She had seen animals and birds breed as well and it was true that only the females gave birth, or laid eggs as the case might be. Now that one part of reproduction was clear to her, and Souta seemed too comfortable to be guilty of telling tall tales, Rin decided to ask another question.

"So is it true that you made Kagome-neechan pregnant, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha had been in the process of breathing. Stress, had been. After catching Rin's curious words, he choked on air and busied himself with coughing up a lung. Miroku helped him out by thumping him on the back, which wasn't really help at all as it only served to aggravate his breathless condition.

"I- *cough* Did I *cough* hear *cough* right?"

"Unfortunately," Sesshoumaru looked at Souta. "Explain yourself."

Souta paled a bit but he bravely answered, "Rin asked me where babies came from and I told her what I was taught in school... Was that wrong, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Sesshoumaru rubbed his brow. "No," he admitted, "not technically..."

Miroku just had to ask. "Souta, this school of yours, what else do they teach you?"

A little devil - who was _normally _obedient and quietly dozing on Shippou's shoulder - whispered into the kit's ear. Shippou said innocently, "They have show and tell, Miroku. Can you believe it?"

"Show. And. Tell...?"

Needless to say, many thoughts-not-meant-to-be-shared-with-innocent-children passed through the houshi's head.

"You are so perverted, Miroku," Inuyasha grumbled. "And Shippou, you're deliberately misleading him."

Shippou turned wide eyes on Inuyasha. "What'd I say? It's the truth!"

"But not like that!" Inuyasha grabbed hold of Shippou and began shaking him by the shoulders. "You knew full well how he'd take your comment."

The kit wriggled out of Inuyasha's hold and turned the tables on Inuyasha when he hopped onto the man's head and began chomping on his hair. Shippou and Inuyasha were soon too involved in their tussle to pay much attention to the others.

Meanwhile, Rin still sought answers, "Sesshoumaru-sama-"

Souta was still in mortal fear that he had upset his idol. "Sesshoumaru-sama-"

Miroku wanted to know some more about the modern school system. "Souta-"

"Enough!"

The roar held sufficient power behind it to shake the Higurashi Shrine's very foundation.

This time it was Sesshoumaru who couldn't take any more of the insanity. He pointed an imperious finger at Miroku. "You, shut up!" Then he turned on his brother and Shippou. He didn't have anything against the kit, so... "Inuyasha, sit!"

An amazing thing happened, just then.

Sesshoumaru actually had to blink a couple of times before he could accept that his mind wasn't playing games with him.

His orders were followed to the word.

Not only did Miroku clamp his lips shut and not utter a single word; Inuyasha also sat. The demon lord was stunned. He had never tried using Kagome's trick before because he had been under the impression that she alone could use the prayer beads. Now he had to revise his assumption. Apparently it wasn't the prayer beads that still held magical dominance over Inuyasha - they had lost their powers long ago when Inuyasha lost his intent to harm Kagome.

Inuyasha's reactions were, strangely enough... conditioned.

Sesshoumaru felt an evil itch between his shoulder blades. All he had to do was say the word and Inuyasha's face would plaster itself to the ground. Sesshoumaru thought of the endless possibilities that had just opened up to him...

In the middle of Sesshoumaru's pleasant daydreams, Inuyasha's shock, Miroku's confusion, Shippou's amazement, Souta's incomprehension, and Rin's ramblings, a voice carried strong and clear through the ceiling from the second floor.

"INUYASHA, IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN I'M GOING TO SIT YOU SO HARD, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO STAND AGAIN!"

Inuyasha groaned in pain from his prone position on the living room floor.

Rin had to ask. "All you did was lay a hand on Kagome-neechan?"

[The end?]


	3. Part III

Title:

Labor Pains

Author:

Shun'u

Series:

Inuyasha

Genre:

Humor

Rating:

PG - for language and undignified inebriation.

Spoilers:

None

Warning:

*psst* Beware of rampant OOCness. Otherwise, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all its characters are the creation and property of, not to mention (c) to Rumiko Takahashi and all subsequent parties. I humbly borrow them for my bizarre fanfiction at no offense to their creator. Labor Pains is a product of my own demented mind and therefore (c) to Shun'u Hanashiro 2001-2002.

Back by popular demand... hehehe... Labor Pains is resurrected.

July 2002 L A B O R • P A I N S ****

An Inuyasha Fanfiction  
By Shun'u Hanashiro

...Recap of Part II... 

"Enough!"

The roar held sufficient power behind it to shake the Higurashi Shrine's very foundation.

This time it was Sesshoumaru who couldn't take any more of the insanity. He pointed an imperious finger at Miroku. "You, shut up!" Then he turned on his brother and Shippou. He didn't have anything against the kit, so... "Inuyasha, sit!"

An amazing thing happened, just then.

Sesshoumaru actually had to blink a couple of times before he could accept that his mind wasn't playing games with him.

His orders were followed to the word.

Not only did Miroku clamp his lips shut and not utter a single word; Inuyasha also sat. The demon lord was stunned. He had never tried using Kagome's trick before because he had been under the impression that she alone could use the prayer beads. Now he had to revise his assumption. Apparently it wasn't the prayer beads that still held magical dominance over Inuyasha - they had lost their powers long ago when Inuyasha lost his intent to harm Kagome.

Inuyasha's reactions were, strangely enough... conditioned.

Sesshoumaru felt an evil itch between his shoulder blades. All he had to do was say the word and Inuyasha's face would plaster itself to the ground. Sesshoumaru thought of the endless possibilities that had just opened up to him...

In the middle of Sesshoumaru's pleasant daydreams, Inuyasha's shock, Miroku's confusion, Shippou's amazement, Souta's incomprehension, and Rin's ramblings, a voice carried strong and clear through the ceiling from the second floor.

"INUYASHA, IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN I'M GOING TO SIT YOU SO HARD, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO STAND AGAIN!"

Inuyasha groaned in pain from his prone position on the living room floor.

Rin had to ask. "All you did was lay a hand on Kagome-neechan?"

Part III 

"Breathe, Kagome-chan," Sango instructed her weary friend, "breathe, in, out, in... out..."

Simultaneously practicing the breathing exercises with Kagome, Sango worried. Kagome was such a tiny woman... There was danger that she wouldn't be able to push the child through her birth canal because her hips were so narrow. And the baby was proving to be larger than expected.

"Aaargh!" Kagome gasped and fell back onto the bed again as her trembling arms gave out. "Oooh, I am _so_ gonna kill him after this is over!! I'm sorry baby, but you won't have a father for much longer."

Sango stifled a grin. _Poor Inuyasha._ She wondered if he had any clue what was in store for him once Kagome recovered her strength.

Meanwhile Mrs. Higurashi was wiping her daughter's brow with a cool cloth and holding onto Kagome's hand in reassurance. Her calm, practical voice eased much of Kagome's tension and fears. "It's all right, Kagome-chan. You're doing great. It'll be over soon. I just want you to push a little bit more for me, okay?"

"Mama..." Kagome bit her lip to hold in a groan as another contraction began. "If I ever say that I want more kids, please knock some sense into me."

"Yes, dear."

Sango patted Kagome's leg and reminded her to continue breathing. The baby was crowning. She could see a tuft of wispy black hair as his head slowly appeared through the birth canal. Soon their journey would be over and the little boy would open his eyes to a new world.

Would he have violet or blue eyes?

***

Meanwhile... downstairs...

"Now, now, Sesshoumaru..." Miroku couldn't believe his damnable luck. Was he actually standing in front of the former hanyou and _defending_ Inuyasha against his brother? Buddha had one hell of a perverse sense of humor.

"Oi, I don't need you to defend me, houshi," Inuyasha grumbled.

"Uh... Inuyasha," Shippou whispered dramatically, "If I were you, I wouldn't decline any kind of help right now."

Indeed, it would've probably behooved the violet-eyed human if he were to accept any and all assistance offered to him. After all, not only did Sesshoumaru have an unholy gleam in his amber eyes. He was also... smiling. Congenially, no less. Even Rin, who was normally oblivious to the more subtle undercurrents of her environment, was starting to fidget from the building tension.

"If you think I'm gonna cower from Sesshoumaru, you have another thing coming," Inuyasha told them all flatly. No way would his pride allow him to hide behind their protection. He had always managed to confront Sesshoumaru before. Of course, Inuyasha had oh-so-inconveniently forgotten that he no longer had any claws with which to defend himself, let alone fight back.

Sesshoumaru hadn't forgotten. His smile widened to heretofore-unknown proportions.

Miroku tried to reason with his friend even as he wondered why he bothered to do so. If anything existed that was more stubborn than a pig and mule hybrid, it would be Inuyasha. "Maybe cower isn't the word, Inuyasha. Taking precautions, however-"

"Same thing, Miroku." Inuyasha crossed his arms belligerently. "Stop trying to interfere. I could handle him before." Sesshoumaru's brows arched at the blatant exaggeration and the smile transformed into a smirk. Inuyasha ignored his expressions and continued, "I can handle him now."

Souta tapped Shippou on the shoulder, "Ne, what's going on, Shippou? Why's Sesshoumaru-sama smiling like that?" Even he could tell that something peculiar was happening. Something ground breaking. Something never before witnessed. Something... well, you get the point already.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru said softly.

Inuyasha glared at his troublemaking brother. It never failed. Wherever Sesshoumaru went, trouble was bound to follow. "What-"

"Sit."

*thump*

"What the hell!"

Miroku shook his head. _I tried to warn him, Kagome-sama._

"Sit."

"Bastard!"

"Tsk tsk, such language in front of the children, brother dear." Sesshoumaru settled himself on the couch and curiously watched Inuyasha try to peel himself from the ground. "And just for that... Sit."

"Argh!!!"

Shippou sighed, "Even an idiot could've seen that one coming a mile away."

"We're talking about Inuyasha," Miroku commented.

"True."

"Miroku-san," Souta asked innocently. "Do Sesshoumaru-sama and Inuyasha-niichan do this often?"

"All the time," Miroku said. He noticed that despite the repetitious abuse Inuyasha was taking, he looked relatively unharmed. "It's part of Inuyasha's training, you see. He needs this so that when he fights other youkai he doesn't feel the pain as much. It makes him a better fighter."

"I see..." Souta didn't see at all. It all looked a little masochistic on Inuyasha's part. Souta wondered if he should tell Kagome about Inuyasha-niichan's fetish for pain. His sister would certainly be shocked. Of course he wouldn't mention Sesshoumaru-sama's somewhat sadistic participation in the... uh... training...

Sesshoumaru took a break from torturing *ahem* training his brother to call out, "Rin, bring me a drink." His throat was getting a little parched. Between the alcohol and using his voice so much more than normal, he needed something refreshing. "Some water would be fine."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"Do you think we should intervene?" Shippou asked Miroku from the sidelines as Rin scampered off to do her guardian's bidding.

"Nope." Miroku was tired of being the voice of reason every time the brothers were anywhere near each other. He liked to be reprobate too, damn it. "Neither of them will listen to us."

"Maybe they'll listen to Kagome," Shippou wisely - maybe even a little evilly - suggested to the monk.

"Hmm..." A fiendish idea formed in Miroku's head. Apparently the little devil that had been sitting on Shippou's shoulder was making up for being dormant so long. "That's not a bad idea, Shippou."

Rin returned with a chilled bottle of water, which Sesshoumaru took his time about opening while Inuyasha swore and struggled in vain to rise.

"Rin," Miroku called over the hyperactive little girl.

"Hai, Miroku-san?"

Miroku crouched down to her eye level. "Do me a favor, would you? Go tell Kagome..."

Souta watched wide-eyed as Rin dashed up the stairwell after Miroku finished whispering his instructions to her. "What did you tell her to do, Miroku-san?"

Shippou dragged Souta to a corner. His sensitive kitsune ears had picked up everything. "He told Rin to..."

Meanwhile Sesshoumaru was too caught up in his fun, and Inuyasha in his frustration, for either of them to notice anyone else's actions.

****

Author's Notes: Ah, but I am _so_ evil for leaving it off there...


End file.
